And the rest of my life starts now

United in love

Ah, you kind-hearted Planetarians with your huge hearts.

Thankyou from the depths of my soul for helping pull me through one of the longest and most distressing weeks of my life. The compassion, empathy and support you have shown me has been overwhelming.  

I appreciate every single one of your gorgeous expressions of love and care.

I am feeling overwhelmed at the moment (154 emails in my inbox, 70-odd post comments, numerous FB messages, condolence cards, telephone calls, text messages and so many flowers).

I need time for my thoughts to settle a little before I can respond.

Please know that as much as I’d love to respond to you all right now, especially to those of you who have sent me multiple messages, checking in every day to see how I’m faring, I am just too exhausted.

I’m just realising what a tremendous toll the past months have taken on my body and spirit.

As you know, I’ve had the buying, selling and vacating of houses all at once, The Great Unpack (only half completed) and the ever-present worry about Dad’s impending death hanging over me like the Sword of Damocles, not to mention Planet Baby’s ordinary affairs of state. There have been the long days of looking after the pixies, the changing of 'shifts' over to Mr PB at witching hour, the daily hospital visits to see Dad, followed by nights of writing his eulogy.

His Committal Service on Tuesday morning and his Thanksgiving Service on Tuesday afternoon both went off beautifully. Whilst painful and heart-rending, they were also glorious celebrations of Dad’s extraordinary life.

I will post about them sometime soon.

But for now, I’m just absorbing the fact that the rest of my life starts now.

Without my Dad.

Without him to hold my hand like he did above in my last photo with him.

But I am my father’s daughter. I can do this. I know I can.