Friday, 26 August 2011

And the rest of my life starts now

United in love
Ah, you kind-hearted Planetarians with your huge hearts.

Thankyou from the depths of my soul for helping pull me through one of the longest and most distressing weeks of my life. The compassion, empathy and support you have shown me has been overwhelming.  

I appreciate every single one of your gorgeous expressions of love and care.

I am feeling overwhelmed at the moment (154 emails in my inbox, 70-odd post comments, numerous FB messages, condolence cards, telephone calls, text messages and so many flowers).

I need time for my thoughts to settle a little before I can respond.

Please know that as much as I’d love to respond to you all right now, especially to those of you who have sent me multiple messages, checking in every day to see how I’m faring, I am just too exhausted.

I’m just realising what a tremendous toll the past months have taken on my body and spirit.

As you know, I’ve had the buying, selling and vacating of houses all at once, The Great Unpack (only half completed) and the ever-present worry about Dad’s impending death hanging over me like the Sword of Damocles, not to mention Planet Baby’s ordinary affairs of state. There have been the long days of looking after the pixies, the changing of 'shifts' over to Mr PB at witching hour, the daily hospital visits to see Dad, followed by nights of writing his eulogy.

His Committal Service on Tuesday morning and his Thanksgiving Service on Tuesday afternoon both went off beautifully. Whilst painful and heart-rending, they were also glorious celebrations of Dad’s extraordinary life.

I will post about them sometime soon.

But for now, I’m just absorbing the fact that the rest of my life starts now.

Without my Dad.

Without him to hold my hand like he did above in my last photo with him.

But I am my father’s daughter. I can do this. I know I can.
Photobucket

46 comments:

  1. He would be SO proud of you Jane.

    Go gently Lovely,

    xx Felicity

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  2. I know you can too Jane. Just take it one step at a time, slowly and we'll all be here for you.
    Lots of love,
    Jxx

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  3. You'll get through it Jane.
    Lots of love xo

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  4. I'm crying as I read Jane - we are still mid move and very out of touch... I hadn't heard the news about your Dad. I am so very sorry, He would be very proud of his strong, brave daughter and her beautiful family life. Please know that we are thinking of you. Much love, Ann x

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  5. Be kind to yourself, Jane. You are under a lot of stress and it's hard to be brave all the time. x

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  6. One step at a time, Jane. Just concentrate on yourself & your family now, I'm pretty sure no one expects you to respond so don't put yourself under anymore preasure.
    Take care of you..xx

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  7. Yes, you can Jane, yes you can.

    xxx

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  8. I understand what it's like to lose a gentle father. Love the photo.

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  9. You just look after yourself Jane xx

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  10. Sending love and thoughts xx

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  11. I didn't want to leave a message yesterday because I knew you would worry about replying-You are just too sweet Jane, but please know I have been thinking of you and your family.

    Take your time to heal and be strong, take care of yourself and your family. We love you and will be here when you are ready.

    Blessings,
    Natasha.
    xo

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  12. Beautiful memories will wrap you up and keep you going on this next phase Jane. Thinking of you xx

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  13. You can totally do it Jane. All my best thoughts are with you.

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  14. Thinking of you sweetheart. A-M xx

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  15. Thinking of you Jane. You will find the strength to go on, always with your Dad close to your heart, nothing can take away the special memories you have of him xx

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  16. Dear Jane .. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. That photo shows so much ... strenght, love, togetherness. Take care always (-:

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  17. Dear Jane. Sending you love and comfort. Adjusting to life without your Dad will be hard for you all. One day at a time. Jane x

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  18. Dear Jane, I am so sorry for your loss and that you now face the future without such an amazing man in it. These days, weeks, months ahead will be hard and I will be thinking of you. Take care xx

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  19. Thinking of you Jane. Love and light my friend xx

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  20. Hi Jane..what a remarkable photo to have and to be able to remember how his hand felt in yours. Even better to know that he loved you beyond words and that love remains with you forever. There is no pressure from us to move on..rest a while and think about what you want to do..there is no hurry.

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  21. Hugs and best wishes...that photo is so amazing, you were so lucky to have that precious moment to remember, thinking of you...x

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  22. Just take it day by day Jane...you will get there.
    Thinking of you sweet :)
    x

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  23. Of course you can. And what's more. You do not need to respond to the emails and comments from us bloggers. It's our turn to give to you. Take care dear girl, it's Jane time now.

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  24. You sure can beautiful. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and take each day as it comes. Be kind to yourself my love.

    Thinking of you every day xx

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  25. I'm with the Moerks - you don't need to respond. Just know that we got your back!
    fee x

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  26. A gorgeous post sweet Jane. My heart breaks for you right now, you're such a brave person. I have been thinking of you, but please don't feel you need to respond, just take time to find where you want to be, I imagine you haven't been able to do that in a long while my friend xo

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  27. Keep that spirit strong Jane & take care of yourself x

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  28. Sending you
    sunshine to help
    push those dark
    clouds aside....
    Of course they will
    be there, for a long,
    long, time, but hopefully
    blue skies will prevail
    as each day passes in
    your "new normal." I
    concur with the rest
    of your peeps....your
    bloggy flock....be gentle
    with yourself.
    Love and hugs, sweet Jane.
    xx Suzanne

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  29. Jane, you're strong and kind, and I know you'll get through this. One hour at a time, one day at a time my friend...baby steps. Sending you light and love K xxx

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  30. Stay strong Jane. Thinking of you xox

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  31. & Jane, we're all here whenever you need to gather any strength of find you way. Love Posie

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  32. big hugs to you jane. It's a very tough time but I can honestly say that it will get easier but there will be still be moments where it hits you hard and you don't believe it. big hugs, I have a little something to send you but will get your address from you later
    big hugs,
    Corrie:)

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  33. Time is a great healer, Jane, take some time to rest and recooperate and be with your sweet family,
    Lots of Love

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  34. this too shall pass, the sun will shine again, your babes will carry you thru, plus the love from the blogie world le xox

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  35. Yes you can do this Jane, you are fabulous!
    Ness xx

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  36. Sweet friend, I know you can do it. But take your time and rest from all the turbulences of the past weeks. My thoughts and love are with you and your family! Alles Liebe Tesca

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  37. I'm so sorry Jane, what an enormous loss. Take care of yourself and I hope you get through ok. Rachaelx

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  38. Jane, I am still away and can't always get online...but please know I have been thinking of you.

    Life has been incredibly challenging for you this year......take it step by step now, day by day. Something tells me that you will have a network of family and friends whenever you need them...but be gentle with yourself.

    And that photo.....beyond moving, I have tears in my eyes X

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  39. YOu haven't been out of my thoughts for the last few weeks Jane. I know that you will get through this terribly difficult time, but be gentle on yourself. Be kind to yourself.
    Take lots of care,
    x

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  40. So, so sorry Jane....thinking of you.....xv

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  41. Why thanks, everyone. I really value all your thoughtful, caring and considered comments, especially from those who have already walked this path. Your wisdom is helping me immensely. Know that I read and cherish every word you leave here. J x

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Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, you gorgeous soul. You've just made my day! J x

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