Farewelling my darling Dad: the sequel

Ah, my friends. Today has been a turbulent one for me. Older Planetarians will recall my post here about my gorgeous Dad's Thanksgiving Service nearly a year ago. Today my Mum, my sister, my brother and I finally laid him to rest. I placed these flowers picked from our garden at his headstone.

When picking them, I was reminded so much of Dad's love of gardening and all I had learnt from him about it over the years. 

I know he would have delighted in our daffodils, jonquils, snowdrops, lavender, penstemons and camellias. 

I wrapped them in blue tissue paper and tied it with one of my favourite ribbons. I smiled to myself when wrapping them. I was about to cut a larger piece of paper than needed but then heard my thrifty Dad, who was born in the Great Depression years, chiding me for being wasteful so I used less!

We had a short and simple service with our kind minister at the cemetery. Tears trickled down my cheeks. But I smiled as I looked out onto the calm River Derwent, content that Dad has a view of the harbour he held so dear.

And then I tucked my tissue paper and ribbon into my bag. I am my father's daughter, after all! I'll make them into a little rosette or something pretty so I have a tangible reminder of the day.

My siblings and I then had another short but immensely moving little ceremony at a special family spot. 

And then it was over. 

I gently brushed away my salty tears as I drove home, my heart still aching. But gradually a sense of calm and peace started to seep into my bones. 

It will take time. I just have to go with it. Feel it. Live it.

I'll get there. Wherever 'there' may be. 

In a fortnight, it'll be the first anniversary of Dad's death. I have no idea how that will go.

But for now, I have happier things to focus on this weekend. Having my brother and his young family over from Adelaide for the weekend means some precious whole-of-family bonding time. Seeing our combined 7 children under 7 playing together will be heart-lifting. And then we have the excitement of seeing my new nephew christened on Sunday, wearing the smocked gown all the other 6 have worn to theirs.

So in between my salty tears, there will also be broad smiles and chuckles at the capers the cousins get up to. I know Dad will be beaming away at the sight, somewhere.

This post was featured in the August 2012 edition of the Post of the Month Club.

Celebrating Mothers' Day 2011 on Planet Baby

Ah, lovely Planetarians, thanks so much for your kindness about my last post about being nominated as a Kidspot Top 50 blogger for 2011. I am amazed at, and touched by, your responses. Thanks for lifting my spirits! Now, finally I have a moment to post about Mothers’ Day now that Blogger’s little hissy fit is over and we can post properly again. I had such a full day, packed with action, kisses, cuddles, presents, present-making (for my Mum – I was running a little late!), yummy food and lots of emotion. As usual, my darling Mr PB was the Ringmaster Extraordinaire, marshalling the pixies to create a sumptuous breakfast in bed, morning tea for his mum and afternoon tea for mine and my sister and her family. He’s definitely a keeper, that one! I’ll let the photos tell the story of my day.

I was woken by the pixies bearing breakfast on a tray, complete with the best china and flowers picked from the garden. They had prepared scrumptious scrambled eggs and bacon with Atlantic salmon, roasted tomatoes and all the trimmings. Here’s the spread (yes - lovely bed-hair!).

We had cuddles and *rare* photos of me with each of them. First, my beautiful big boy.

Then my gorgeous big girl.

And finally, my sweet little boy.

We attempted to get one of me with all three pixies but as usual, Quicksilver Sam squirmed away at the crucial moments. This is the best we could do – keeping it real here, as usual, sweet Planetarians!

They’d been excited for the whole week or so leading up to the Big Day as they made goodies at school and daycare. Every day, India would ask “How many sleeps until Mothers’ Day?”. They had great fun shopping with Mr PB on Saturday and then wrapping them that night. This is what they presented to me, jumping up and down in impatient excitement. It was filled with presents, lovingly wrapped inside!

Now you all know how much I *adore* wrapping presents. Well, I’m so excited to see the pixies developing an appreciation for this as well. With Mr PB’s help, they raided my stash of paper goodies and here are some of the treasures they created. Here are Joshua’s first, starting with his wrapping. 

See the rainbow, sun, sky and our family? My heart melts. 

Then his card.

Oh, be still, my beating heart! Here’s the inside. I *love* the fact he’s learning to write.

Here’s his first present – a handmade whirling plastic flower for the garden, complete with butterflies and a heart. See – he knows blue and green are my favourite colours!

And his second – a book he wrote and illustrated. I treasure every word and drawing in it.

And now India’s card, ably assisted by Mr PB.

And her present – some yummy rumballs in a little box, all made and decorated by her.

And here’s the family’s present – a new laundry basket for our new home. Ooh, I’m *starting* to get excited!

It was filled with chocolates of all varieties, including my treasured German Ritter Sport, salmon dip, pâtés and a bottle of Tasmanian Frogmore Creek FGR riesling.  Hmm, lusciousness!

All up, it was a really touching and heartfelt effort by Mr PB and the pixies. I am blessed. Especially when it’s not really all that long ago that we weren’t sure whether we could have any children. Yes, I am truly counting my blessings. And here’s a photo of my dear Mum with my handmade present. It was a hit.

And here’s my favourite shot of the day, finally getting my wriggly pixies into a group photo. 

Joy personified. It doesn't get much better than this, in my books. I hope you all had your own treasured Mothers' Day moments as well. What did you get up to? Do share!

Daddy's little girl

Ah, you gorgeous Planetarians with your big hearts! I really appreciate all your kindness and messages of support about my Dad and his health battles. We are learning to take each day at a time much more and not planning too far ahead. We hope he will be home for Easter and that he can go to church with our family at his beloved St David’s Cathedral on Easter Day. The dynamics in our wider family are shifting as we all adjust to Dad’s new circumstances. We’re not sure of his prognosis but realise each day with him is to be cherished more than ever. As scary and as horrible as all this process is, it’s also positive in that Dad can be involved in making decisions while he still can.

My brain is awhirl with thoughts about moving to our new house, selling our Sydney apartment and the logistics of changing the pixies’ schooling and daycare arrangements whilst all the while, Dad is never far from my thoughts.

We have always been very close. I was his firstborn and we share many personality traits and interests so there’s always been a beautiful and precious connection between us. Today I just want to share this gorgeous photo of the two of us when I must have been about India’s age.

Oh, now I’m crying. I think it captures the essence of our relationship so perfectly.

Given my current distraction and worry, I’m just not in the headspace to blog as I had planned today. I hope you understand.

However, Mr PB is taking a week or so off starting tonight so I will have more time to blog soon. I want to show you the divine café in our new neighbourhood I mentioned here, take you on another wander around Salamanca Market and announce my giveaway. I’ve had such fun choosing the goodies! So stay tuned – same bat time, same bat channel…

Love letters and other delights

Well, my PB friends, it seems that you all like a good love story! I promise the next instalment will follow later today. For the moment, I have a certain daughter (who shall remain unnamed) who seems to require her Mummy's attention a lot today, not allowing me to sit here and write to you. So, in the interim, I thought I'd share these lovelies with you.

Last night, Mr PB and I fossicked around in the shed by torchlight while the pixies were sleeping and retrieved our old love letters and photo albums for you. We then whiled away a few pleasant hours, reminiscing, picking out photos which captured the heady roller-coaster of emotion we rode back then. Here's a photo taken of us at dinner, the night before Mr PB left for the UK.

Here are some of the love letters we sent each other during that long year. 

Yes, lots of aerogrammes (do they exist anymore?!), postcards, letters and cards. Here are some more.

Ah, ardent declarations of love!

So, time to bundle up India and Sam and collect Joshie from school. I'll try to post again tonight.

Jane 

How to really love a child

Hello, my lovelies. Here's something sweet which I really relate to here on PB. I follow the crazy and eclectic blog of SARK (aka Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) - do check it out if you have a moment. She's both eccentric and quite inspirational, I find. This is one of her gorgeous creations.

© SARK

Isn't is just the loveliest reminder of how simple life can be, when we let it?

I hope you're all enjoying your weekend.

Jane